Furry Ferry Fun

Day 2 Harwich to Hoek van Holland/Amsterdam

Up in the dark to catch the Furry to Hoek van Holland. Mum and Dad were very nervous that my paperwork, (a ten page Pet Health Certificate, not recommended holiday reading) might not get me out of the country but all seemed OK and my chip passed the beep test and we were off. It all cost quite a lot of money but I think I’m worth it.

Mum had taken some pills in case of waves but the sea was as smooth as (slightly bumpy) glass so it just meant she was very quiet (unusual) and slept a lot (not unusual) in our cabin so I thought I’d do the decent thing and keep her company.

In fact, my movements (bowel or otherwise) were limited as I was only allowed to be in our windowless room or up on what Mum called the Poop Deck (an apt description, as it turned out)

The Furry was very deserted. Mum said she had to try to stop thinking about the Titanic.

Due to some poor Geography on Mum & Dad’s part, we had two long train journeys to a place called Hamsterdam, going North when really we needed to go South. I have to say that there was less ham there than I’d hoped, although the shops seemed to be filled with lots of sausage shaped objects, in bright colours. Some of the sausages even seemed to be shivering (well, it was very cold) Mum refused to take a photo of the shaking sausages so I can’t put one here but I will say that although they were large, they didn’t look appetising.

There were also some shops that seemed to be selling human females; strangely, given the cold, the women in the windows were just wearing bits of string but they weren’t shivering like the sausages. In fact, most of them seemed to be asleep standing up.

Our hostelry had what Dad called ‘death stairs’, deadly electrics and all night my snout was filled with a very strong oily herb smell. Tonight’s ’lullaby’ was the screech of musical theatre tunes through the walls, enhanced by the intermittent hum of a bathroom fan, on a frequency that Dad said was akin to torture.

When Mum declared ‘I’m too old for Hamsterdam’ I was confused, as although she’s undeniably ancient, they still let her in.

I don’t think we’ll be returning.

🐾

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